KIMONO 2: WHAT WE WEAR

Sometimes the fire of creative inspiration is lit by a match stroke of rage thrown onto a pool of long bubbling grief.

In 2015, the performance coordinator for Oslo Fetish Weekend contacted me about creating a “shibari performance” for their big finale gala. At this point, 2015, the modern kink social circles, in general, still aren’t all that concerned about cultural appropriation, Orientalism, the fetishization of BIPOC bodies, colonized sexuality, or the unexamined privilege and assumptions rampant among ‘us.’   The eruption of massive social justice action and cultural reckoning from #MeToo and George Floyd’s murder was still in the future. 

In 2015 I’m already exhausted, frustrated, angry, and weary from a life of dealing with daily microaggressions and two decades of friction with those who treasure the myth of Japanese bondage.

Reasonable dialogue, efforts to engage and educate, or ‘polite’ showing-not-telling wasn’t getting anywhere. I’ve dealt with producers who want to mix all the yellow-face tropes in their “Asian-themed” parties. When they wouldn’t listen I had to walk away.  Balancing seeking opportunities in a niche field while navigating around unacceptable expectations, it’s a challenge.

So now I have a request to make a ‘shibari performance.’ From the basic negotiation, I got the sense that they imagined “traditional Shibari” performance, which seemed to mean “pretty skinny woman tied up / pretty skinny woman up in the air / pretty skinny woman down / preferably with somebody wearing a kimono to show ‘cultural respect.’”  Over the course of the email exchange, I had a flash of an idea, and asked only for the basic parameters – the type of stage, resource and support available, duration of performance  etc etc.  Then I offered to create a custom performance, something new and entirely unique.  They liked the sound of that and started to ask mode needs, how many suspension points above, etc…  but I stopped them.

 I asked simply “will you trust me?” 

Not knowing me, they weren’t aware that this meant I was up to something.  I got back to them in a matter of a few days. I asked for a theater-in-the-round performancing area with a cat walk, four stagehands, preferably white men. Given that this is Norway where white people come from, I figured this was likely not a difficult request. Additional requests included tarps, bowls, changing room, and rehearsal time with the stagehands, and coordination with the sound & light teams.  They asked again how many suspension points and that they had ‘just the right model” for me. I declined all of that.

At this point, dear readers, I need to be clear that the producer was being entirely reasonable, easy to communicate and coordinate with, and acting in good faith effort.  The problem is not with the organizing team or the event, per se. 

The problem is how the dominant culture flattens and exoticizes others, including but not limited to sexuality and bodily agency. It’s about how that created a norm in the pervy subcultures. Kink and BDSM subcultures, while stigmatized or ‘othered’ themselves, they’re not immune to the stereotyping in the larger culture they are part of. 

The dominant cultural expectation is that I, the minority, would perform ‘me’ to meet their idea of ‘me’ – which is so very much not me. I could meet them where they want me to be, or   could turn this down. But there was another option. I could accept this and have them meet me in my reality.

What they got was “Kimono 2 What We Wear ”  (In Vita)

I am now calling the performative version of this work as “in Vita ” meaning performed live,  to distinguish this from the installation version.